Have I changed? Have I walked out of my past and fit in for once?
Does everyone have part of their lives where they want locked inside a save and buried deep underground and decompose over time?!
There was a time where I hate being myself. That I do not fit in and I put up this façade trying desperately to fit in. I never liked to talk about my past not when I am the butt of all jokes, not when everyone knows me in 3 other names other than my real name (and that does not include Kern).
Like a self mutilating individual, the pain inflicted by the knife’s sharp edge leaves scars behind. The damage done made me into who I am today. A private and fearful person who hides behind a mask away from criticism and forever worrying what others might think of me.
Hiding behind a mask has made me someone with multiple personas, and I think I have different Me-s in different group settings. And sometimes I have difficulty finding my true self. Do I even have a true me? Will I like it? Most importantly would other people like it too?
People might say why live your life for others? But it is easier said than done. If other people do not like you then why bother living when life would be miserable and pointless? Certain thoughts have occurred to me before but I’ve never acted upon them. Am I not damaged enough?
Will I ever walk out of my shadows? Or will my past catch up with me eventually? What will I do when it does?
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1 comment:
You should know that you rock. You really do. My BFF. Here's to you. *Muackz* ^^
"Your past, is what shapes your present. And your present, is what will be leading you into the future." - Dotdot
Confusing?
Just heck it, be yourself and live your life to the fullest!
Enjoy now, Embrace the future and cherish the past!
Bwhaha.. I'm good.. I can be a philosopher or something.. :D
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